As you all know from any previous rare posts mentioning her, my mother has not been a part of my life for almost 5 years now, and will never be again. I won’t deny that not having a ‘mother figure’ in my life has had its difficult moments, but as you also know about me – I like to look at things from a positive angle.
So instead of wallowing in the (un-needed) sympathy people seem to give to me whenever I mention it, here’s 5 amazingly wonderful lessons that losing a mother taught me.
5 things I’m grateful for every single day.
1. Leave things that make you unhappy in the past. – It takes a strong person to be cut throat if someone you love is making you unhappy, but trust me, you’ll thank yourself for it. Whether that’s a friend, a lover, or a family member. Just because they’re family does not mean you have to drag yourself down. Cut the dead weight lose.
2. Never argue with someone too stubborn or blind to accept the truth. – Sometimes in life people believe what they want to believe. No amount of pushing or explaining will get them to change their mind. Trying to change this will take over your life and exhaust you. Accept it and then, if necessary, reconsider what that means for your relationship.
3. Being independent is the greatest thing in the world. – I grew up with a huge family around me, and at 16 that suddenly dropped to about 30% of the original clan for one reason or another. Again, it has its dark moments, but in a positive light it gives me so much freedom. I probably wouldn’t have even left home for uni if my mum had a say – think I’d be making my own way and own mistakes if she was a phone call away? Nope. (Also, props to my Dad for never getting in the way of this)
4. Having a chip on your shoulder is always a good thing. – Got something to prove? Got some haters to shout down? Good. Go get ’em. Be careful not to get too sucked up in it, you don’t want it to take over your decisions, but a little extra added motivation never hurt anyone.
5. Life will not give you what you deserve. – ‘Bad things happen to good people’, okay? You could be the kindest generous person around, and life will still hit you in the face with a brick. It’s gonna happen. There’s no point crying about it, no one cares, get up. Carry on. Hustle hard. Go. Kick. Ass.
A lot of silent disapprovals wonder why I bring up my past. But what happened is a part of me, a part of my character, and a part of my future. I will never hide who I am. I’ll keep telling my story to the new people in my life, because unless you know you’ll never really understand who I am and where my strength comes from.
Avert your sympathetic eyes – no sympathy is needed here!
The blessings that you need to count, are the ones hidden in the darkest shadows and deepest pain
Positive strong vibes only.