I write this after a busy busy day in the office – leaving me with zero time to run home and make lunch. Yes, you heard me – it is 7 in the evening, and I have not eaten since 7 this morning. 12 hours. 12 whole hours. You can imagine that after 12 entire whole long dragged out hunger fed hours, that I’m pretty damn hungry. To say the least. When I’m hungry weird things start to happen to me…Here are my five stages of hunger.
- ‘I’m not even that hungry, I can totally make it until dinner. I won’t even notice!’
That inevitable lie, the one that keeps us soldiering on as if we’re not even fussed. Why would we even care that we’re a little bit hungry? Why would I even notice that? Like my stomach feels pretty full right now to be honest, I bet I won’t even feel hungry. Ha. Lies. (Also relevant, for juice fast)
2. Instagram food stalking.
#foodporn #cleaneating #comfortfood #foodgasm #mealprep #lovefood #instafood #snack #nom #eat – literally anything food related. You will catch me sneaking in a quick five minute breather, just staring at all these mouth watering perfectly filtered lush meals in front of me. I can taste that fresh warm shortbread crumbling in my mouth, I can feel that rick creamy carbonara canoodling my taste buds, and I can definitely smell those cinnamon iced buns as they come out of the oven. I. Am. Ready.
3. I CAN’T CONCENTRATE AT. ALL.
Honestly it is a wonder I’m even writing this right now. 12.25 hours down, and dinner is not yet done. Not. Okay. At this point I’m usually scrolling aimlessly through my twitter feed, or considering what I might blog about this weekend or doing ANYTHING at all to distract myself from the fiery pit of hell my stomach has become. Whyyyyyyyy did I not make time for lunch. Obviously the good thing to do would be to chuck myself into my work load and push on through the to do list. But can I do that? No. Why? Because my stomach doesn’t want me to concentrate, #sorrynotsorry.
4. I’m a hyper freak, and I don’t care that it’s pissing you off.
I will definitely get home and get this weird burst of energy. I’m bouncing off the walls. I can’t sit still. I’m going to shout like I child that I am sooooooooooo hungry until you give me food. (Okay maybe not shout, but still.) Today I got home and convinced myself that if I ate then, at half five, I wouldn’t be hungry for dinner. So I sat there in hyper mode. For real. H Y P E R. Feed me or I won’t shut up.
(I just need to share with you at this point in my writing, dinner was ready and I’ve just ate a fat ass pie, veg and roast potato with gravy – life is complete. Back to my five stages of hunger…)
Now we all know what’s coming… the dreaded number 5.
5. I’m-so-hungry-I-want-to-punch-you-in-the-face stage
Feed me. Feed me now. Feed me now or forever hold your peace – because you’ll be dead. Suffocated by my empty stomach. Choked by my bare hands. And I won’t care. Because right now I’m too hungry to think rationally, I need food. This stage also comes with a side of feeling sorry for myself, and emotional wreck syndrome. Don’t feed me? That’s cool, I’ll just cry a little bit. Give you puppy dog eyes. You know, the usual.
Obviously this wasn’t written today, I queued it from during the week – so if you got a little confused I apologise. Also, yes I am able to get my own food – and consistently do. But realistically if I’ve been at work all day and the Mr hasn’t? Well, he’s cooking.
Agree with my Five stages of hunger? Comment below!
Happy Sunday ya’ll!