People keep saying to me recently ‘you’re so positive’ ‘you’re always so happy’ ‘you never seem down’ etc etc etc, so I thought I’d level the playing field a little bit. Trust me when I say I am not – I’m actually a extremely stressful person. If I’m too busy or too bored or worried about money or know I have too many emails to reply to or know I have to tell someone I can’t come to their event tomorrow or know I have to cancel OR OR OR OR OR – there’s a lot of ors. I get stressed. Believe me. Even to the point where if I’m a tad stressed, the simple noise of the dishwasher can make me want to run screaming out the door. So, in the sassiest way possible, these are my top ten things that make me want to punch someone/something. (Kids, I do not condone violence)
1. People chewing with their mouths open. Why? Just why? Why are you doing that? Why can’t you just close your mouth and eat quietly like most other polite people in the world? Does it look like I want to see your half chewed food? No.
2. If I tidy something, and you come along and muck it up. You’re an idiot. I just tidied that. Why is it messy again? This may come as a surprise to you, but I actually don’t want to spend my life cleaning up after you. SHOCK. (Open apology to my family for being a culprit of this one myself when I was younger – then I moved out into my own place and realised how god damn annoying it is)
3. The sound of someone gaming. You know where they’re playing this stupid little shooting game and swearing at the TV and all you can hear is bloody guns going off?! STOP ITTTTT. (My boyfriend’s actually doing this right next to me now)
4. Bad washing up (or not checking when putting things out of a dishwasher away.) This one is actually just basic hygiene I swear? Are you blind? Literally just see if there’s dirt on it, and if there is, just swish it around again. It’s actually not that hard. What makes it worse is when someone doesn’t check it’s clean, and has already put it in the cupboard. Gross.
5. People that won’t compromise. This one I really really really hate. You know those people you can argue with till your blue in the face, and they’ll still be like ‘Well I’m right, because I said so’. They won’t budge, they won’t consider, they won’t come to any kind of mutual grounds – in fact, usually you’re lucky to get a word in edge ways. There are actually other opinions other than yours, I promise you.
6. Someone who can’t/won’t say thank you (or in fact doesn’t have any manners in general) Thank you is always one of the most basic things you can say, and if you don’t say it you’re pretty much instantly in my bad books. I never do things for rewards, but simple recognition that I did it is never a bad thing. This goes for all manners; please, excuse me, sorry, bless you…simple stuff.
7. Pushing your negativity onto other people’s dreams. As you can tell, I have quite a lot of different interests I like to do, and about 5 different career paths I would quite happily walk down. So few things are worse than someone saying ‘but you’ll never do that because’… Ummmmmmmm what? Who are you and why are you crushing my dreams? (Please note: there’s a very big difference between offering your advice – which I’m always grateful for – and then just telling me I can’t do it) Believe me when I say I can do it, because I want to do it, which means I will definitely do it.
8. Stereotyping. I often get into arguments about this one – with my voice always being ‘You cannot condemn an entire group of people, over one person (or a few people’s) actions. That’s not my opinion, that’s a fact. It really is that simple. A very sad example of this, is ‘Muslims are all terrorists/killers/trying to turn England into a Muslim country’. Please just stop being such an idiot. YES there are a small group of Muslim extremists, yes they have cause some awful catastrophes and have some ridiculous campaigns right now – you can’t tell me an ENTIRE religion follows suit? The Islam religion doesn’t teach violence, and it does’t teach racism. The end.
9. Victim Blaming. I’m sure this is more than just a little pet hate, but an international problem. She’s been raped. I don’t care what she was wearing, where she was going, what kind of day it was, whether it was dark or light, whether she fits into the media’s idealistic standards of beauty, whether she was drunk, whether she was flirting, whether she was older….the list is endless. At the end of the day, I don’t care what the other circumstances are, if she hasn’t said ‘Yes I want to do this’ then your penis shouldn’t be entering her vagina. And as a side note for this one, I also really hate the general consensus that men cannot be raped. The FBI’s legality on this changed in 2012 to include the wording “Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” So yes men can be, and often have been raped.
10. People telling me what to do when I’m cooking. Seemingly insignificant compared to most other things on this list, but it reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally gets under my skin. Let’s just make it super simple for you: If I’m cooking then I don’t want your help unless I ask for it – and if that’s hard for you, then go and sit in another room and just wait until it’s served. I’m making you dinner, and I plan to do it my way.
This all being said, I still go about life with a smiley positive attitude everyday, and rarely let these little pet hates get me down. If you spent all your life constantly focussing on the bad things you’d probably never get out of bed everyday. So in answer to all your kind words, yes I am a really happy person, but I also could’ve added on about 456797438463 more things onto this list. Like Sexism, Racism, or Indirect Tweets.
Oh and we can add Family Guy to this list too – beyond offensive.
Disclaimer – none of the above photos are mine!