Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a little ‘Um nahhh not really feeling it’ to make him work harder. Ladies, own up, we’ve all done it. We feign innocence, or are seemingly glued to the TV, knowing damn well what he wants to happen, but you’re gonna make him try. And to be honest, fellas – you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t done it in return occasionally. But where does it turn from innocently convincing your partner, AKA turning them on…to just pushing them into it?
1) n. a voluntary agreement to another’s proposition.
2) v. to voluntarily agree to an act or proposal of another,which may range from contracts to sexual relations.”
I’d like to think it’s a simple Yes or No situation. But it never is. With all the game playing and mind changing, who knows where the line is? It’s a tricky one to call.
First up, let me firmly state, if either partner says no, it is legally rape. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or have been together for yeaaaars, doesn’t matter if it’s happened before, doesn’t matter if she’s drunk or if she was game ten minutes ago… It. Is. Rape.
Make matters simple. Be clear with your partner, if you don’t want that happening, you tell them that. Whether that be your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, or even a random one night stand. No matter your relationship with the person you’re about to be (or not be, your call) intimate with, you have the right to say no. Even if he’s been buying you drinks all night, and then also paid for the taxi back to yours, you can still say no and ask him to leave. Think Fierce ladies.
Many times I’ve had girly convos with the ladies, and they said ‘Well he said we’ve done it before, so it doesn’t really matter’. WRONG. Each act you participate in needs consent, each time. If you’re progressing from kiss to touch, your partner says no, you move your goddamn hand. If they were teasing, and they want it back there, trust me they will tell you. Play by the rules.
Two Questions –
A. Do they want to give consent?
B. Are they able to give consent?
If either of these answers happens to be a No, you my friend, are about to commit a crime. Take a step back, cool off, go take a cold shower if need be, or just completely remove yourself from the situation (but seriously learn some self control people).
Someone who talks about it, and who isn’t boring and just preaching to young kids, is one of my favourite people Laci Green. And if you haven’t heard about her, look her up. This lady is Sassyyyyyyyyy. Here’s Laci’s Video on Consent, take a look, and then browse her channel. She’s amazing.
Nothing is sexier than someone who respects you enough to ask first – literally the biggest turn on. And more than likely, they’ll want to come back for seconds.